Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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