Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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