i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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