When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
