Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
