Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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