real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
