Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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