my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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