careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize