Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
