Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
