i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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