I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
