What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
