I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
