My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
