Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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