me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
