I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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