I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I touched a dick in church today
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
