the condom got lost in my hair
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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