i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
