So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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