you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
