Don't you send me to vm
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
