I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
