We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
