I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
