She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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