ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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