I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
