Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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