she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
