I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
