would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
