New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
