Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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