Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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