Only a mothe r could love this liver
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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