last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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