TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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