They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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