Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
