I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
