i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
that's an acceptable place to lick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
