Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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