Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
