Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
