tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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