Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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