I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
